I know what I need an iPad for!

I always knew that I’ll buy an iPad in April. What I didn’t know would it be what for. I was trying to find an iPad function that can’t be easily done with a laptop.  The problem solved: I’ll sleep with it! No kidding.

No worries, my tried and true wife will share the  bed with us too.  

As opposed to any laptop, iPad is nicely shaped. It’s rounded. No sharp corners. No keyboard that can hurt you while you are asleep.

Slide under the blanket,  put on a pair of earphones with soft ear pieces (not these huge and rigid ones from Apple made for elephant’s ears) and listen to your favorite podcast or a music… Slowly but surely you are falling asleep… Golden slumbers… No need to worry about iPad – it’ll survive even if you’ll be sleeping on it. It can even fall off the bed without damaging itself.

My master bedroom is right above my office, where the wi-fi router is. This means that I can get by with the cheapest (non 3G) iPad model. The 3G model is for old farts who need to be able to read emails in large fonts while on the road (burn in hell Blackberry!)

Important: for men, sleeping with iPad 3G is not recommended. While you are asleep, it can (coincidently) slide close to your private parts, and slight radiation will affect your manly abilities sooner or later. Consult with your urologist before making a decision which model to purchase.

Unfortunately, iPad won’t heat up. Just imagine….your wife is watching TV, and you  go to a cold bed were a well rounded, warm, and knowledgeable partner is waiting for you! iPad will never cheat on you (changing a dead battery for $107 only in the  Apple store doesn’t count). If you see a decrease in number of marriages (both hetero and homosexuals) within the next couple of years, you’ll know what to blame for, will you?

tags: ipad  

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